Aloha G-boys
by Shenlong no Miko
Summary: Wufei must make the toughest decision of his career...to take a trip to Hawaii with Ash, or let Hawaii (in the form of Duo's mindboggling exotic dancing skills) come to them!


OLOHA G-BOYS!!  
  
Wufei: I'm seriously contemplating taking Ash on a romantic weekend get- away to Hawaii.  
  
Ash: Awww… that's so sweet, Honeybunch. My boyfriend is so well-trained. *bats eyelashes at her beloved Dragon Boy*  
  
Trowa: *snickers* More like well-whipped.  
  
Quatre: I dunno Wufei… why go to Hawaii when we can put a grass skirt on Duo, and let him Hula for you?  
  
Wufei: My labito doesn't swing that way!  
  
Ash: I would hope not!  
  
Duo: Could I wear the coconut bra?  
  
Quatre: Why not?! You're the exotic dancer, you make the call!  
  
Trowa: Quatre, are you sure that's a good idea? We are talking about giving Duo absolute power over a situation, and…er…well…hmmm…I don't believe I need to expand on that thought.  
  
Duo: Relax Trowa! I aim to please.  
  
Trowa: *grumbles* You're aiming below the mark. Besides, you no longer possess AIM. I removed it from your labtop after I stumbled across that pathetic excuse for a porn site. Never mind the fact that Barney the Dinosaur is your screen saver.  
  
Duo: *pathetic sniffling*  
  
Ash: Do you really want to please us, Duo?  
  
Duo: *sings painfully off key* I'd do anything for you. La la la! Words words!  
  
Ash: Pretend you are embarking on a mission to save the world, crawl into Deathscythe, strap in, twiddle your thumbs, kiss your ass good-bye, and self destruct!  
  
Duo: I'm not following you.  
  
Trowa: That sailed way over his head.  
  
Heather: Like an infant!  
  
Duo: Are you mocking me again?! I'll have you know I would make an awesome Juliet! The best any Shakesperian Theater in the history of Shakesperian Theaters has ever seen!  
  
Ash: You totally lost me.  
  
Heero: Which isn't too hard to do.  
  
Ash: Are you implying something about my shortness Heero?  
  
Heero: What do you think?  
  
Ash: I may be small in stature, but I'm big in heart!  
  
Heero: Now I'm lost.  
  
Wufei: I'd leave it alone if I were you Heero!  
  
Duo:*totally ignoring the previous conversation about his self destruction* Or that chick with the hair that the handsome prince climbs up.  
  
Heero: Repunsel?  
  
Duo: I could be her. Heero, would you do me the honor of climbing up my hair?  
  
Heero: I don't think so, Tim!  
  
Duo: Tim?! There's a Tim now?! But Dearest, you always enjoyed climbing up my hair in the past!  
  
Heero: That was before the elephant dropped on my head, and only on very special occassions, namely… saving my worthless life.  
  
Ash: Hold the phone! There was an elephant in Duo's hair?!  
  
Trowa: So that's where he got to!  
  
Heero: A friend of yours, Trowa?  
  
Trowa: One of my best. He escaped from the circus last week. A moment of silence for dear Tiny Tim!  
  
Duo: The elephant's name was Tim?! Heero's been shackin' up with an elephant when he could have had me?! It's a conspiracy I tell you!  
  
Heero: For the record, I haven't been "shackin' up" with anyone, Tim or otherwise.  
  
Ash: Heero, GET LAID! As for Duo, *grabs Duo's braid* I wonder what else is in there!  
  
Duo: Pain! Suffering! The last time I brushed my lovely tresses, I discovered Atlantis.  
  
Heather: *dumbfounded* In your hair?  
  
Duo: Of course not Silly! Ouch! Major Discomfort! In the plentiful space between my ears!  
  
Trowa: How did that plentiful space become so plentiful?  
  
Duo: Awhile back, Heero blasted this massive hole in my skull, and ever since then, random objects have been oozing, floating, and teleporting into the endless void between my ears. It is my one claim to fame!  
  
Ash: Duo…  
  
Duo: That's my name, don't wear it out!  
  
Ash: Go away! Far… far away!  
  
Duo: Bu…  
  
Ash: Do us all a favor by following these simple instructions: Activate Deathscythe, and fly yourself to the Arctic where you shall die a miserable death with only the penguins and polar bears to mourn your loss. Step on it!  
  
Duo: *salutes, turns on his heels, revs up Deathscythe's engine, and soars off into the horizon*  
  
Trowa: That went well.  
  
Ash: *narrows her eyes* A little too well if you ask me. He'll be back.  
  
Wufei: *puts comforting arm around Ash's waist* I'd be pretty surprise if he had the guts to show his face around here again.  
  
Ash: *sighs* I've given him the exact same orders like twenty times, and he always returns.  
  
Quatre: The guy is like a cockroach. He refuses to die! Suppose he was accidentally hung by his braid?  
  
Ash: Quatre, are you experiencing the desire to give in to your innermost violent tendencies?  
  
Quatre: I plead the fifth.  
  
Trowa: Still seeing that shrink?  
  
Quatre: Nope. Got tired of spending hours in his stuffy office, laying on that musty blue couch. My last appointment was scheduled for a couple of weeks ago. I had a bad morning. Spilled poptart crumbles down my shirt. Just as any other normal person would have done, I took out my frustrations on the shrink by killing him.  
  
Ash: Ummm… Guys? I think this is the time when we should make our subtle exit.  
  
*murmurs of agreement, all depart*  
  
Quatre: *cackling insanely* I'll show you all!!!! 


End file.
